As I start the fourth week, I begin to really learn my classmates names, mannerism, opinions and attitudes.
And from this observation I've come to the conclusion that they're all heaps crazy.
You know when your reading a new book, and it's going well, you enjoy the characters, the plot, the replacement for actual plans on a Saturday night, and then you get to that one sentence, and it ruins everything. That one paragraph, maybe, where you realize that the book is absolute crap, and that it's simply been stringing you along. That it doesn't actually love you, never did. It just wanted you to read it, that it's been using you all along. That she isn't actually your friend!
Whoa, got a little carried away there, but seriously. This week is that sentence, that one misuse of a word, or the 50th 'nice.'
I sit by a girl named Jessica in quite a few classes, I saw her on the first day, pegged her as a teachers pet, and decided she's probably worth the annoying. Turns out, not annoying, freakin' mad! She lines her 5 different colored highlighters on one side of the desk, her pens on the other, and her pencils on top. I don't want to touch her, in fear that the crazy's contagious.
Luim can recite the presidents in order from memory, but can't tie his shoelaces.
Sarah cried when she couldn't figure out whether the accent over the 'n' in Spanish was squiggly or not.
Cassandra can name the capitols of each state and knows her 3 times tables. If that isn't crazy I don't know what is.
And don't get me started on your mom, lord, she wears Crocs. There's no excuse.

Does your mom wear Crocs?

The differences between middle school and high school are slowly disintegrating, and it's worrying me. High school is a step up, and I intended to step up. The problem is the anticipation is gone and the new people are beginning to fit into the the old roles.
It's as though no matter what their name is I will always have, 'the stalker,' 'the too nice girl,' the victim,' 'the recycler'  (which is what I call someone who takes witty banter, catch phrases, actions and personality traits from books and TV shows and plays them as their own.), 'the too cool for this boy,' 'the I Know All the Answers kid' and 'Ditzy Blond.' We all have these people in our lives, and we all would be much better without them. But they're like the phoenix rising from the ashes or a plucked eyebrow hair, they keep coming back!
And if you don't know one of these people in your group, you are that person! And we can't be friends anymore.
I am making new friends though, friends that hug me. So progress? Hey! I'm a blogger, a hug is monumental.
But walking from Bio to Spanish, I do pass through the most crowded hallway in the school and I get to 2nd base with at least 7 people every day, so you know... definite progress.
And PE is increasingly better. Today during volleyball this sophomore boy was smacking the ball super hard, in every direction, with all sorts of crazed flailing movements. I told Danielle I thought he was crazy. She told me he was probably high, looking at him I realized he did have the 'warning signs,' his eyes were dead, he was sweating, it was all very clear.Upon realizing this I said,'O my God, he totally is!' And not 2 seconds later he ran into the wall chasing the ball.
'He is!' Smack!
Made my day, and early too.
Hope yours was as good!
But not your moms, you know, if she wears Crocs.


Does your mom wear Crocs?

I'm sorry to all of you who have been wondering where I am

I'm sorry to all of you who have been wondering where I am, and by 'you' I mean my mom, of course.
My school work and homework has definitely multiplied this year, with the IB program, but other than that I'm not sure what happened. Oh, that's right. I'm dull beyond belief.
I did meet a few more people, a few less first impressions to be had. And everyone seems all right, if not a little goody-two-shoes, (because I'm a rebel now) except Brad.
His name really sums it up, if you ask me, you're parents don't name you Brad unless your going to be a suburban white boy who plays football, gets good grades and goes 'steady' with someone. The ultimate American Boy. And that's exactly how it worked out.
He's not only hugely competitive, he's arrogant in a way that makes me want to hit him. We started volleyball in PE, and he complained about already having bruises on his forearms. I asked why and he said in a completely patronizing voice,'I had a game last night...'
Trust me, I knew about the game. In which they lost 80 to 0. No jokes.
And in English this happened. Mr.Q dropped his papers, and Brad responded,'Epic Fail!'
My teacher corrected him by adding,'ure.' Brad didn't understand, thinking he was saying 'you're' and continued to say, 'No you are!' for at least another 40 seconds.
I can't wait to hear more from this guy.

At least I don't play clarinet.

You know what's a problem?
Having your schedule so locked you're put into orchestra when you play clarinet. Poor Ben.

I have a problem.
I get these 'girl crushes.' I think it has to do with my longing for a 'normal' best friend. But the problem is, I fall hard, because I have nothing else to focus my attention on. What with the formerly stated lack of real friends.
We all have one of those people in our lives who we know shouldn't be there, but for some reason we can't leave alone. They are the french fries of the social world. Completely nutrition free, but you crave em'. My social life is morbidly obese.
So Kenzie, a cheerleader from 8th grade is attending my school again this year, and although I only have one class with her, my girl crush rages on.
That is, until, Friday of last week. When I met a girl named...Danielle.
And you know with a name like that...
But seriously, I was considering joining a 12 step program to 'quit' Kenzie, when I met Danielle.
She's popular material, pretty, smart and funny.  I don't mean to write her online dating profile but girl better watch out for the Observer.
We have three classes together, and she requested a locker by mine! Is my excitement adequately shown here? (There's a thin line between lonely and pervert isn't there?)
Because apparently I want you to know how awkward I am, here is a conversation I had with my mom-
"Mom guess what?"
Mom- "What sweet darling of mine?" (I'm paraphrasing here.)
Me- "I met a girl today, named Danielle, shes going to be my friend."
Mom- "A Kenzie replacement..."
Me- "Exactly, I don't need her. Speaking of, I've decided she isn't even that pretty!"
Mom- "What does Danielle look like?"
Me- "Kenzie..."

So not am I apparently a stereotypical man, but I have a type.
The more you know!


In addition to my new future ex girlfriend, I've become boring.
I sit in English class with my head resting on my hands, a vacant expression on my face and my eyes dead ahead. I don't see the problem here.
My teacher, lets call him Mr.Q, called me out in class today, impersonated me and continued to compare me with this other girl saying that because of her constant flow of questions, lively facial expressions and chatter she is a more interesting person than I am, the girl who looks miserable, "the closed book."
Later, still in front of the whole class, he pointed out that I was probably trying to think of new ways to look interested.
Which, of course, I was!
I am not boring.
I like raisins, but hate food with raisins in it. I am interesting.
To add insult to injury, when I got home and reported this to my mom, she simply laughed and revealed that in the days in which I had preformed/acted on a stage she had secretly imposed the nickname, The Emotional Black hole.
Short story long, I've given up acting and am working on conveying emotions in my lips. Next week eyes.

I would love to point out to him that I am not boring, I have a blog...wait...

Does your mom wear Crocs?

That's honestly how narcissistic I am.

Today was better. Although anything would have been better than yesterday. In fact, I got my PE uniform, turned in my humanities home work and got my Geo text.
True story, I'll have to remember that one for the grand kids.
The highlight of my day was in fact in English, with the arrogant teacher that speaks like the very words he's uttering will be worth something when he becomes famous. You know, after he does the whole high school teacher thing. We did 'icebreakers' today, listing choices and speaking to the class if we wished, I didn't.
Which was, so thoughtfully, pointed out by Jamie as we were leaving (she had just been called 'The favorite student of the day' leaving her head and, in her mind, her ability for witty comments enlarged.)
'You didn't say anything today, what were your answers? You didn't even laugh at his jokes?' Because the Favorite Student of the Day cant be heard by the teacher two feet away.
Short story long, he ended up saying he 'couldn't read me.' Which left me rather pleased, what with the fact that on the first day he said he could read our minds.
So slap my butt and call me Bella.
Is it wrong? That I feel good about being the one he doesn't understand? I suppose I should have said something like,'Well its only the third day.' or 'I guess I'm a closed book' Okay probably not the latter, but I'm constantly put in positions, that if made only slightly longer would have been key for a great retort.
They're constantly lost on me. And mere minutes later I know exactly what a movie star would have said if it were a scene. I feel cheated out of them.
And worse yet, I build up that lost moment in my head so that when I'm walking home or falling to sleep I recite the entire 'casts' lines under my breath. People walking past me are always hearing utter nonsense.
I don't want to believe it but I'm pretty sure I'm the person people cross the street away from when they see me walking towards them. And I'm a white girl with freckles and an ever present look of anxiety in my eye. The eye patch probably doesn't help.
Speaking of my face, and I'm getting off topic, but I've found I have a completely unmemorable one. In eighth grade we would walk into the lunch room and have to prove we had brought a lunch, this man checked us, every day. But at the end of eighth he asked me,'Do you go here?' (Later I would decide I should have said, 'Only for the past three years, not too long.')
And this afternoon on the bus, the Newman look-a-like of a driver said,'Your new!' Um, no.
Its a little disappointing to find out half of the people you meet will forget you almost instantly. And I have  a 'strong' nose, as my mother puts it.
Moral of the story, my third day beat the second and first.
Wearing my Star Wars shirt tomorrow, so we'll see.
At least I'm not wearing Crocs...

Does your mom wear Crocs?

Because I wasn't wearing the magic pants.

Me and my best friend found magic pants this Summer. In a completely and totally Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants Way. Only, she lives 3000 miles away, and we're rather lazy, so we just bought two pair.
I wore mine on my first day of school, her third, and I told her they saved me from something terrible. She asked me,'What kind of things were they saving you from?'
If my life was a novel you were reading in English your teacher would stop you right about there to let you in on the authors use of foreshadowing.
Only, ha ha, the author of my novel didn't let me in on the twist. I would have said climax of the story, but that would be rather pathetic if it was all coming to an end on my second day.
I threw up today, in the hallway, in a trash can, after sweating through my clothes in geometry and nearly passing out from cramp pains.
Its a hard knock life for us!
The nurse here is far nicer in comparison to the women who never left her desk and told me to stop skipping class when the same thing happened in sixth.
The experience did show me how nice Jamie is, I may just keep her around, for a while, and this new girl who I sorta blew off in my hast to not faint in the middle of the corridor. I think her name may be Shh. Trust me the names are a mixture of weird and white girl 'stuck in the suburbs' names.
As kind as they are, I still feel lonely, the girl who reads instead of talking while waiting for roll to start. And if you were wondering, yes, you do realize when you've hit rock bottom.
I'm not saying it was bad, but unless I actually do pass out tomorrow, or pee my pants I don't see it topping today.
And my mom told me it would get better...
But what does she know, she wears Crocs.

Does your mom wear Crocs?

I don't want to set the expectations too high.

My first day of high school was uneventful.
I was expecting either a Mean Girl-esque theme or Dead Poets Society inspiration. But perhaps I was expecting too much, it's only my first day and already high school has let me down. Story of my life.
Unfortunately, the tradition of putting on somewhat of a show for the first few days was not forgotten. Nor was the nervousness that the first day induces.
There is a lot of pressure put on high school, through television and novels and pop culture, as I said before, we expect so much. I'm not even sure if we care if its good or bad, as long as its something. This is supposed to be the best time of our lives.
But if you ask me the 'best time of our lives' couldn't have come at a more inconvenient time. We've yet to live alone, we cant vote or drink, we are lacking or limited in almost all free will transportation and/or bed times, most of us still have acne, we're perpetually uncomfortable and to top it off we feel compelled to have the time of our lives.
Its absurd.
Granted, I've only been there a day, but as my mother would say, 'You only have one chance at a first impression.' And trust me when I say nothing impressed me.
The two people I know have the exact same schedule as each other, which includes but one class with me. And I seem to be a bum magnet as I've already attracted the worst possible ally in the freshman class. Her name is Jamie, and I'm fairly sure the only part of her life I'm not clear on is the Christmas of '02.
My bio teacher is the almost perfectly square, physically, whether he is mentally, I'm not sure, I was too busy being distracted by the fact that his tie was only a button too short.
My English teacher seems to have given the sophomore class and incoming freshman his 'kool aid' without including me because when he talks its as though a laugh track is on behind him.
He pointed out how serious I was, but it isn't my fault his jokes are appropriate only for the watchers of the Disney channel. And not the old stuff, the new stuff.
I'm in a program called International Baccalaureate. Its basically the gathering of every nerd in the county, and apparently my orchestra teacher is one of them. I'm fairly sure she plays WOW, which as you may remember is worse than just about anything. She's pregnant, and funny. And greeted us by saying,' I don't drink, I don't smoke, but I do swear like a sailor and if you don't like it get the f@#% out of my class.'
Highlight of my day.
I think I'm going to introduce myself to more people tomorrow, considering I have to dump this Jamie kid as fast as possible. Easier said than done what with her last name being the letter right after mine. We will forever be alphabetically together.
As of right now it could get better or worse, we're playing in middle ground. Which is all a girl can really ask for right?

Does your mom wear Crocs?